Sooo...again it takes me forever to write in this journal. Eh, oh well. Guess that means at least I'm keeping busy, right?

Since my last post my truck has had the following repaired:

Wide pipe on exhuast, in which during the repair the bunk section was scratched while muffler guards were removed and replaced. Tomorrow she gets fixed though.

AC/heater blower motor died. Later that evening the entire AC system froze up. The last two weeks have given me a hint of what hell is like, and they no longer call me Cranky...it's now Stink-EEEEEEEEE!!!

I am starting to have serious doubts on if I'll make it. I'm trying, but with the repairs I've had to made...jeesh. I still owe Mid Seven about a grand for it. If I could just get a few good weeks in.... with no major things happening I'd be set.

So, if you pray, chant, bless, dance around naked in the pale moon light offering....errr just send me good vibes, k?

Anywho...onto other exciting dramatic things.

I frequent a message board that is composed of a few women who all participate in an online roleplaying/fantasy/round robin of sorts writing deal. We all have our characters, write our things, toss curves into the mix. It's fun, and through it I met a few nice gals. But alas, as it always happens (screw Murphey and his laws already) there are idiots who happen into the mix. *sighs* So, I feel compelled to state a few things here, in this fora, and hope I don't grate on anyone's nerves while doing so.

Here goes....*note - I'm not changing the names, I'm stating who and calling it like I see it.

Staci - This woman always laugh at me! Ya think I'm lying? Go on, ask her! She'll admit to it. Let me clue ya in though... for the last, what.... a little over 2 years now Staci has listened to me bitch, whine, piss and moan; given me amazing advice, been a friendly ear to listen when I need, told me I'm an idiot when I really didn't want to hear it.... to sum it up she's been a friend, an honest friend. I can only hope that I do the same for her when she ever needs it.

Dawn - Is the epitomy of sweetness. *lol* Quiet, reserved, slightly un-sure of herself (due to the unkindness of others). Don't get me wrong.... there are plenty of us like this in the world. While I may come off as brassy and bold, when face to face I'm more like Dawn than anyone would believe. She reminds me of what it's like to be a 'lady', and to me, that means alot.

Tori - There was a time when a dear friend of mine was in need of my help.... and I had no idea how to help her. Tori opened herself up to me in a way that astounded me, and helped me to help my friend. For that, I am ever grateful. To describe her I would say SHE'S the brassy n bold one.... all the time. *lol*

Nancy - Hmmm, somehow this woman puts up with me. I don't know why, as I know I've bugged her enough times with inane shit that probably left her wondering where the fark my head was. *lol* Yet, she's a kind, compassionate soul. Wait, check that...she IS the Evil One.

Wildstar and Desertbunnie I don't really know that well. I've not chatted with either of them. From what I've seen posted on the fourms, they're both wonderful women who, if I had the time, I would chat to get to know them better. But, I don't even time to keep with Staci, whom I chat with the most. Life sucks. *lol*

Ohh Serena~~~ you didn't think I forgot about you, now did ya? *lol* Again, I don't know her that well, either. From what I hear, and read, she's a great gal! Who know's, maybe she'll have a few moments one night to chat and get to be driven nutty like Nancy was..... *hehe*

One thing goes across the board for all of the women I listed here... each of them does a wonderful job of writing!!! I am left in awe, and jealous, of their skills. I've tried to mimick them, re-read what they've written to try to learn. It ain't happening. *lol* I have learned one thing through them, though, one major important thing. Everyone has their own style of writing. Ok, I learned two things....there is a group of women out there in the world who can co-exist among each other on a message board without throwing fits and having temper tantrums. And they all reside at the Oasis.......

That all leads to....WHERE THE HELL HAS MY MUSE RUN OFF TO? I swaer, I read something and I get an idea....listen to a song while dirving down the road and something hits me.... I go to actually write it down and BAM it's gone. That muse took off running faster than I can get my little Detroit to catch it. Ugh!

I did ask a friend if he would beta the story as I write it. He said yes, which made me dig out the stuff I had written already and when I read it, I see a few things to alter.... yet - for once I think, "Hey, that's not bad." Hopefully with his help, I'll be able to see where I go wrong and write it better, get the ideas into words and make it into something the writer will enjoy. *shrugs* Or I might use it for starting a bonfire. Farked if I know at this stage.

The last two friends I had asked to beta the story, well... one seemed to get upset if I didn't change the story to how she thought it should be written. The other... all he would say, "It's lookin good." I've seen first hand what Vant can do (won't use his real name *hehe*) and I know he'll be honest with me..... now all I gotta do is get the stuff written up and sent off to him.

In the real world...

Truck sucks

Mom is back in the hospital again. Congestive heart Failure again.... for the what, 50th time? I used to think CHF was something to be afraid of...I mean shit, it's heart failure!!!!! Now, I think I'm immune to the fear behind it. Mom's had it so many times I kind of shrug it off.... I know it could kill her, so could a bag of burnt popcorn, or pollen in the air, or fumes from the stacks of my truck, or or... you get the idea. Am I heartless for not freaking out anymore? I used to all the time...

Mom goes into the hospital, I freak out and worry to death. After two years of that I stop freaking out. I tell folks, hey, she's gonna die one day. I can either spend the time I've got left with her biting my nails and pulling out my hair, or I can spend it making her laugh and doing what I can to make her smile and enjoy life. I chose the later... there will be plenty of time to freak out when she really does pass away.

Now, that might have sounded callous, but honestly...I don't care what folks think of those words. I - along with those who know me, including my own mother - know where those words come from, and how they are meant. So if ya think I'm being rude for putting it that way, bite me.

Speaking of the ladies from the Oasis...I owe them all a ton of shit. They've got me on a new addiction. The Hunter series of romance novels. Yeah, yeah I know. Romance novles!!! BUT, there's more than someone else's sexual fantasies in these books. Don't belive me? Go find a book called Fantasy Lover, author's last name is Kenyon. I'm too friggen lazy to link the web site at the moment, can do that later. But I dare ya, go read it.